“I love my wife. We have a great life. I want to make things work.

“But…,” Ryan pauses and considers if he will reveal his secret.

I nod my head, giving him the cue that it’s ok to speak.

“I’m miserable,” he says, conflicted inside.

Do you feel conflicted about the current state of your marriage?

A part of Ryan says, “I should be able to make this work. This is the woman I married. This is the mother of my children.”

And another part says, “But she’s completely shut down. She’s not open to affection. We haven’t had sex in forever. And she’s unwilling to even talk about it or try to improve things.”

Do you live between a sugar-coated version of your marriage and a contradicting harsh reality?

If so, it would make sense if you questioned the future of your marriage. If you felt stuck between the desire to stay in your marriage and the desire to leave it.

Do you wonder, how long you can stay in your marriage as it is?

It could feel like you’re damned if you stay and damned if you go. A double bind.

If you’re in this spot, I get it. I was there once. The worst part about it is the feeling of not knowing what to do. Sadly, a lot of guys hang out in this place for years.

Are you in limbo with your wife?

It can take a major toll on your mental and emotional health. It can cause stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, depression, low energy, and a lot more.

That’s no way to live. I want to be clear. You can do better. There is a way out. And I don’t just mean out of your marriage, even though that’s clearly an option. I mean out of this stuck place.

Are you wanting to get unstuck in your marriage?

In truth, many guys try. But they make a sideways effort. They indulge in escapism. Temporary relief. A form of coping.

They have affairs, use prescriptions drugs, excessive pot, porn, or alcohol, or bury themselves in work, and more.

If this is you, I have no judgement. I was once that guy stuck between the ideal of his perfect intact family and the contradicting misery of his reality.

A man who sought a way out from a rock and hard place. A man who wanted to get unstuck in his marriage without blowing up everything he valued – kid’s well-being, shared assets, family, home, and more.

Are you wanting to get unstuck without blowing up your family?

If so, that’s honorable AND there is a path forward. But it takes some work. Of course, it does. Anything worth its weight in life takes work.

That work consists of learning to honor yourself, being authentic, and to stop suppressing who you are to make your wife happy.

In the video below, I speak more about where that path forward begins. And how to get unstuck from damned if I stay and damned if I go.

And in the text below, learn what it means to get past the biggest obstacle to moving forward – your fear of the unknown.

My client Ryan was stuck between two bad options. He was hungry, starving for a bigger view. But for some time, the fear of the unknown kept him from taking action.

Does your fear keep you from taking action?

And yet when Ryan had suffered enough, he took a form of action. He sought support.

He saw a therapist. But he got no real direction on how to move forward in his marriage. He felt better. He even got stuff off his chest. But it was fleeting. Nothing really changed for him in his feeling of being stuck.

Have you ever wished for more direction from a therapist?

This is where it’s critical for a man to satiate his hunger for concrete guidance with clear milestones to mark his progress.

To get out of the trap of the man he thinks he should be and the man he experiences himself as.

And this path is not about just blowing everything up. It’s not about becoming the asshole he fears. Ryan knew this.

It is about learning to trust what he already knows. And taking action to move forward in a way that honors himself and his family and wife. A mentor once said to me, “True to self is good for others.”

Do you want to honor yourself AND your family?

Once a man learns to trust himself and to be self-responsible, he is able to see, I created this mess. And I can get out of it, in a good way.

And getting out of it doesn’t just mean leaving his marriage, it means getting clear about what he wants to fight for, moving forward.

What do you want to fight for in your marriage?

Once you have clarity, your nervous system can relax. You can harness the inner resources required to take the next step.

And to be clear, nobody can do this for you, but you can’t do it alone.

This is the journey I take men on. The work is hard but the rewards are great.

Are you ready to get unstuck in your marriage?

If so, let’s explore what’s possible for you. Join a group of men getting unstuck in their relationships in my Men’s Relationship Tools zoom call on Tuesdays at 9am MST.

Can’t make it Tuesday? All good. Get daily relationship tips and action items in my private men’s only Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.