Every month I hear from several dozen men struggling in their marriage or relationship. They say things like… “I don’t feel close to my wife.” “I’m not happy with my marriage.” “I don’t feel like I can meet her needs.” Do you struggle to meet your partner’s needs? When it comes to your partner’s needs, I offer a huge distinction […]
Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
“Happy wife, happy life.” “It’s your job to make her happy.” “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” No doubt you’ve heard one or all of these expressions. Maybe one of these voices lives in your head. How do you make your wife happy? Every month I talk to guys who approach their marriage as a “wife happy-making” endeavor. They […]
“Is my marriage fixable?” Dave, a senior-level IT executive, asks me. He wants guidance. He wants reassurance. He’s a man who thrives with a plan. How do you know if your marriage can be fixed? Of course, no one has a crystal ball looking into the future. Still, having coached men in relationship for the last 15 years, there are […]
So, there’s this trap we guys often fall into. I call it the “fixer trap.” And when we’re in the fixer trap, we want to be “the guy.” You’re the guy who saves the day. The guy who makes things ok for her. The guy who is strong and capable for his partner. And the guy she needs us to […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
“My wife says I don’t listen to her,” Mike says. “And then I think,” he continues. “Listen to her? I can barely even follow her words.” He’s exasperated just talking about it. As the CEO of a high tech company, he’s a master of clear communication, but at home, he falters. “In the same breath, she says she had a […]
Emotions. They can hound a man. Take him over. Anger and fear especially. Ever thought to yourself after an emotional outburst… Jeez, did I just say that to her? What just happened? Man, I’m gonna be in the doghouse for the next week. Chances are it took you a few minutes or longer to notice how your emotions got the […]
Ok, I know, another email about the 1 thing on this or the #1 thing on that. We’re inundated by it all the time. And so forgive me for the clickbait title. But this one really is a game-changer. Something big that I’ve consistently seen in 15 years of coaching men in relationship that blows apart marriage after marriage when […]
Serve, protect, provide. This is the mantra, conscious or not, that drives the behaviors of many married men. Ultimately, most men want to make their wives happy. So in that effort, he’s willing to overlook a lot of challenging behaviors from her. Do you seek to make your wife happy? If so, that’s great. But ask yourself for a moment, […]
