You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
First, if applicable, I invite you to depart from your politically correct, easily-offended mindset. Second, consider this non-PC phrase. One that men may use to describe a buddy’s romantic state in early relationship. Are you pussy whipped? With full respect to women, a woman’s ability to “pussy whip” a man is simultaneously her power to capture him. And while an […]
So, there’s this trap we guys often fall into. I call it the “fixer trap.” And when we’re in the fixer trap, we want to be “the guy.” You’re the guy who saves the day. The guy who makes things ok for her. The guy who is strong and capable for his partner. And the guy she needs us to […]
Death revive my relationship? Say what? Ok, man, tell me about that. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. When I say death, I’m not talking about actual physical death. I mean the death that brings laser-sharp clarity to what needs to die in your relationship. What behaviors need to die in your relationship? Here are a few I’ve seen my […]
Shhh. I have a secret. It’s something nobody tells you about marriage. In fact, it’s something you should’ve known way before you even got married. It’s precisely because you don’t know this one thing that you may be in a marriage that drains you more than fulfills you. And it can put you in a position where you feel like […]
Anger – it’s common for good guys like us to suppress it. We don’t want to be that dominator or aggressive asshole. But still we’re human. So inevitably anger might bubble up now and then. Maybe anger comes up when your wife says that you’re checked out, or you’re not consistent with your words, or you’re just not enough for […]
When a man’s marriage tanks, he asks himself questions like… Can I continue to live like this? How can things change? What can I do about it? And in this place, your options can feel limited. You can easily feel trapped and resigned. Are you living out a life sentence in your marriage? If you’ve ever felt this way, it’s […]
“BOOM! One day she asked me for a divorce,” John says to me. He’s absolutely blindsided, as if it came out of nowhere. But yet it didn’t. He and his wife rarely had sex. They were more like roommates than a married couple. And to deal or not deal, he worked a lot. Are you asleep at the steering wheel […]
A man walks delicately around his partner. In any moment, she might reprimand him. It’s a pattern in their relationship. In reaction, he thinks, If only she’d give me some peace of mind. If only she’d stay out of my shit, not be after me so much, then I could rest, then I could be ok. He rolls out of bed in […]
It’s a question I get asked often. Twice, in fact, this past week on two different podcasts. When is it time to pack it in? Call it quits? Pull the divorce trigger? It’s a tough spot for a GOOD GUY. A guy who doesn’t want to be the asshole who blows up his marriage. Or fears being the jerk whose […]
