You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days. Brené Brown speaks about it often. Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.” Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife? Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention. 90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number. […]
Once upon a time, a man met a woman. He thought she was attractive. He dated her. She seemed kind, open, loving. He felt energized in her presence. He went out with her several times. Then, he noticed life seemed bigger and richer with her versus being on his own. Soon, he decided to be exclusively intimate with her. He […]
Every month I hear from several dozen men struggling in their marriage or relationship. They say things like… “I don’t feel close to my wife.” “I’m not happy with my marriage.” “I don’t feel like I can meet her needs.” Do you struggle to meet your partner’s needs? When it comes to your partner’s needs, I offer a huge distinction […]
Dave, an eight-figure portfolio manager, manages and takes significant risks consistently in his professional life. But when it comes to his marriage, he’s surprisingly risk-averse. His wife has closed off to him. She’s sexually shut down on him. Has your partner shut down on you sexually? Sex was the initial concern for which Dave came to see me. “I can’t […]
“Is my marriage fixable?” Dave, a senior-level IT executive, asks me. He wants guidance. He wants reassurance. He’s a man who thrives with a plan. How do you know if your marriage can be fixed? Of course, no one has a crystal ball looking into the future. Still, having coached men in relationship for the last 15 years, there are […]
So, there’s this trap we guys often fall into. I call it the “fixer trap.” And when we’re in the fixer trap, we want to be “the guy.” You’re the guy who saves the day. The guy who makes things ok for her. The guy who is strong and capable for his partner. And the guy she needs us to […]
Jake’s a big-shot engineer. An engineer who travels the country and lectures internationally. The rock star of engineers who trains other big-shot engineers. He’s brilliant. But like so many other successful men I speak with, his marriage is falling apart. Jake can’t reconcile himself to his own failure at home. He loves his kids, but he refuses to fully acknowledge […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
“I feel like I’m in the doghouse with my partner.” Ever hear a guy say that? That’s code for I’m not getting any sex. Have you been in the doghouse with your partner? Are you there now? Every month, I hear from a handful of guys who say they’re not sexually fulfilled in their relationship. They act like they’ve been […]
