“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur. “How do you know that?” I say. “We never have sex anymore,” he says Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well? “Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say. “Correct,” he says “Do you feel needy?” He […]
Twelve years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
“Happy wife, happy life.” “It’s your job to make her happy.” “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” No doubt you’ve heard one or all of these expressions. Maybe one of these voices lives in your head. How do you make your wife happy? Every month I talk to guys who approach their marriage as a “wife happy-making” endeavor. They […]
“I don’t put the dishes away. “I don’t spend enough time with the kids. “She doesn’t feel like I’m on her team. “It’s endless. Sometimes I wonder why she even stays married to me,” Jack says. Does your wife complain about you? “Why does she stay married to you? Have you asked her?” I say. Jack takes a deep breath. […]
Philip, a high-earning financial consultant, taps his fingers on the small table next to him. I wonder how long he’ll last in this session. His wife Tamara complains about how he is checked out. How he can’t even be with his family for 10 minutes without being on his phone. Mincing no words, she says, “I feel like I’m in […]
“You don’t hear me.” “Why don’t you take me seriously?” “You don’t listen.” Does your wife say any of these things to you? It’s not uncommon for a guy to hear something similar from his wife. And there’s a good reason why. As men, we often struggle to keep up with our partner’s words. We feel like she’s verbose and […]
For many married men, an unconscious thing happens over the years. It happened to me in my marriage. You work hard in your career. You try to be good to your kids. But over time, you and your wife drift apart. And in time, you lose her. You essentially become roommates. Do you feel like roommates with your wife? No […]
Sex. I talk a lot about it. In fact, it’s the biggest complaint men have about their marriages, that there’s not enough of it. Of course, this is because men are superficial and only care about the physical. And if you believe that, then you know nothing about most men and you’re being superficial. Time and again, I hear guys […]
Freedom. It’s one of the greatest values we men cherish and hold. Be it the freedom to do what we want. Believe what we want. Or just live our lives as we please. And yet often at a young age, in our 20s or 30s, we do something that goes counter to maintaining our freedom. We get married. Yes, you […]
Every married guy has been here. What about you? Your wife asks you your opinion on something – the curtains, the placemats, or a school thing with your kid. So you give your opinion. I like the blue curtains. The red placemats look great. Sure, let’s get a tutor for Billy. And then she does what she wants, as if […]
