“I can’t be me without her freaking out on me,” my client Tim said to me. Wow, I thought, that sounds tough and I felt like that once upon a time. Does your partner ever freak out on you? Maybe you said one thing and she misinterpreted it to mean something else. Or you tried to do something you thought was kind and then […]
A guy wants sex. His wife doesn’t. He asks himself, “What’s the point of being married if I can’t have sex with my own wife? Will it be like this forever?” He feels trapped. Have you ever felt trapped like this in a sexless relationship? I have. I even went to a sex addiction therapist at one point in my […]
Let’s say you have relationship problems. Where’s the first place you might turn? Likely, it’s a therapist. That makes sense. There are lots of therapists out there. A dude assumes he’s got stuff to work out. But when it comes to fixing his relationship problems, therapy often falls short for most men. Why do guys often struggle in therapy? In short, […]
A guy complains that his wife never wants to have sex. He’s a good guy who loves his wife a lot. He strives to be kind, considerate, and loving. Is he doing something wrong? “She’s just shut down. It’s hard to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex,” he says. I relate. Years ago, in my marriage, I thought my […]
A man walks delicately around his partner. In any moment, she might reprimand him. It’s a pattern in their relationship. In reaction, he thinks, If only she’d give me some peace of mind. If only she’d stay out of my shit, not be after me so much, then I could rest, then I could be ok. He rolls out of bed in […]
“Too bad if you don’t like who I am!” a guy says. He walks out on his wife, thinking, F*#k her, I don’t need this shit anymore. Have you ever been pissed & walked out on your partner? I have. It feels like shit, especially when it happens often. And afterwards, maybe you’re thinking, Do I really have to go back home […]
A man is struggling in his marriage. But he doesn’t know that there are options for him to improve things. Options beyond HIDING OUT on his phone, ESCAPING through work, getting his physical needs met through porn, or RUNNING from reality into booze or pot. In truth, he feels crappy about acting like this. He hides his behaviors from his kids and wife, and at times, has them out […]
Sol was an account executive with a broadband company. He worked his ass off at work. You know, the whole “climb the ladder” thing. But even better for him, he loved what he did. Much of his work served the developed world. A mission he believed in. At home, it was good and all but… there’s always a but. Anyway, he came to me […]
Social distancing? Or sexual distancing? For many couples, it’s been one in the same. You might be in the same physical space. But are you in the same relational or sexual space? Are you seeing one another? Working as a team? Helping one another get through this COVID madness all the better for it? If you are, you’re likely having more […]
In these coronavirus times, I’m seeing some remarkable things. Men are getting real, vulnerable, removing their masks and exposing their fears on a mass cultural level like never before. I don’t ever recall New York Times columnist David Brooks speak so intimately. Would you be willing to describe how the coronavirus is affecting your mental health? Is the combination of isolation […]
