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	<title>save or leave my marriage Archives - Stuart Motola</title>
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	<description>Helping Men Get Love, Sex, &#38; A Kick-Ass Relationship</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2026 16:02:25 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Sex, Love, &#038; Attachment in Relationship</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/sex-love-attachment-in-relationship-2/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2026 16:02:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Avoid divorce Save my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexless relationship]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=4976</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur. “How do you know that?” I say. “We never have sex anymore,” he says Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well? “Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say. “Correct,” he says “Do you feel needy?” He [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/sex-love-attachment-in-relationship-2/">Sex, Love, &#038; Attachment in Relationship</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur.</p>
<p>“How do you know that?” I say.</p>
<p>“We never have sex anymore,” he says</p>
<h2>Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well?</h2>
<p>“Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say.</p>
<p>“Correct,” he says</p>
<p>“Do you feel needy?”</p>
<p>He pauses. “Not really.”</p>
<h2>Do you feel needy in your marriage?</h2>
<p>“But you do need sex?”</p>
<p>He nods.</p>
<p>“To know you&#8217;re loved, correct?” I continue.</p>
<p>“I’m confused,” he says.</p>
<h2>Would you be confused if your wife said she loved you but wouldn’t have sex with you?</h2>
<p>Rick was caught in a trap I see a lot of guys stuck in. He equates sex to love and love to sex.</p>
<p>He’s so good at kicking ass at work as an entrepreneur that he gets his ass kicked at home.</p>
<p>And he feels resentful.</p>
<p>His wife feels his resentment and to protect herself, she weaponizes sex. She uses it to poke back at him.</p>
<p>Over the course of months of working together, Rick and I take a deep dive into three profound relational topics to help him sort out his marriage and get things back on track.</p>
<h2>Do you struggle with lack of sex in your marriage? Or with not feeling loved?</h2>
<p>Check out the video below to learn about how Sex, Love &amp; Attachment get confused in marriage and discover how to sort them out.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_28664"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KYLdJHhFci8?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<h2>Do you want sex, love, and a kick-ass relationship?</h2>
<p>If so, <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a></strong> to jump on a 15-minute call and see how 1:1 coaching can help you achieve your relationship goals.</p>
<p>Or join me on the <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/">Men’s Relationship Tools</a></strong> weekly call on Tuesdays at 12pm ET, a couching roundtable for you to get relationship support for only $67/month.</p>
<p>Check it out anytime. First call is free.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/sex-love-attachment-in-relationship-2/">Sex, Love, &#038; Attachment in Relationship</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>What To Do When You Fear Your Relationship Is Over</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-fear-your-relationship-is-over/</link>
					<comments>https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-fear-your-relationship-is-over/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2025 19:20:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[men divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[A good husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make her happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriageadviceformen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexless marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexless relationship]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=4949</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>You feel it.  Something’s changed between you and her. She’s distant. Cold. You have a nagging sense that your relationship is not sustainable. You wonder “How long can we keep doing this?” You replay moments. You look for signs. You’re afraid it’s over. But here’s the truth — your biggest problem isn’t her silence, aggravation, or other behaviors. It’s something [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-fear-your-relationship-is-over/">What To Do When You Fear Your Relationship Is Over</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<p>You feel it.  Something’s changed between you and her.</p>
<p>She’s distant. Cold.</p>
<p>You have a nagging sense that your relationship is not sustainable.</p>
<p><strong>You wonder “How long can we keep doing this?”</strong></p>
<p>You replay moments. You look for signs.</p>
<p>You’re afraid it’s over.</p>
<p>But here’s the truth — your biggest problem isn’t her silence, aggravation, or other behaviors.</p>
<p>It’s something else. Something you may spin in and not know how to work with.</p>
<p>Something you don&#8217;t know how to put your best foot forward into.</p>
<p>Your biggest problem isn&#8217;t her.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s you. It’s your fear.</p>
<p><strong>Do you fear that your relationship may be over?</strong></p>
<p>That tightness in your chest… that desperate need to fix things or run away… that’s your body saying something. I don’t feel safe.</p>
<p>And to try to get safe, you try to scramble, try to save the relationship.</p>
<p>A relationship that some days you’re not even sure is worth saving.</p>
<p>And in that, there is another agenda. One that is unconscious.</p>
<p>What you’re really trying to do is escape the fear that you’ll be alone and you’ve lost love.</p>
<p><strong>Do you fear being alone or losing your partner?</strong></p>
<p>If so, here’s the shift that changes everything:<br />
The moment you stop running from your fear — and start meeting it — you stop being ruled by it.</p>
<p>When you can connect with your fear, notice what’s really going on, and not react from it, you begin to feel safe again.</p>
<p>You stop chasing.</p>
<p>You start standing.</p>
<p>And from there, everything changes. Her response. Your energy. The entire dynamic.</p>
<p>Your fear isn’t the end. It’s the doorway back to yourself.</p>
<p><strong>Watch this video to discover how to work with your fear of your relationship being over instead of letting it control you.</strong></p>
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<p><iframe  id="_ytid_82427"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EUc_xgkOpxI?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Move into action to master your fear to create the relationship you want.</p>
<p><span style="color: #33cccc;"><a style="color: #33cccc;" href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>Shoot me a quick email</strong></a><strong> </strong></span>for a quick chat.<strong> </strong></p>
<p>A guaranteed, powerful, honest conversation, keeping it real, to give you meaningful insights on how to create the relationship you want.</p>
<p><strong>Not ready for 1:1 coaching and hear from other men in your situation?</strong></p>
<p>Check out the <span style="color: #0000ff;"><a style="color: #0000ff;" href="http://www.mensrelationshipschool.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong><span style="color: #33cccc;">Men’s Relationship Tools</span></strong></a></span><strong> </strong>calls Tuesdays at 12pm ET. Reply to join your first call for free.</p>
<p><strong>Are you a woman reading this, spying (ha ha) on men’s stuff? </strong></p>
<p>For the women out there,<span style="color: #33cccc;"> <a style="color: #33cccc;" href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/ladies/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>let&#8217;s talk</strong></a><strong><u>.</u></strong> </span>That’s right, as a men&#8217;s coach, I help women create kick-ass relationships with their men.</p>
</div>
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<p>In this video, discover play by play how to finally get through to her.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-fear-your-relationship-is-over/">What To Do When You Fear Your Relationship Is Over</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>How To Deal With Her Complaints</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-deal-with-her-complaints/</link>
					<comments>https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-deal-with-her-complaints/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Mar 2025 16:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[make her]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what she needs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[A good husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Avoid divorce Save my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Being a man in relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make her happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men's work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3513</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>“I don’t put the dishes away. “I don’t spend enough time with the kids. “She doesn’t feel like I’m on her team. “It’s endless. Sometimes I wonder why she even stays married to me,” Jack says. Does your wife complain about you? “Why does she stay married to you? Have you asked her?” I say. Jack takes a deep breath. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-deal-with-her-complaints/">How To Deal With Her Complaints</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“I don’t put the dishes away.</p>
<p>“I don’t spend enough time with the kids.</p>
<p>“She doesn’t feel like I’m on her team.</p>
<p>“It’s endless. Sometimes I wonder why she even stays married to me,” Jack says.</p>
<h2>Does your wife complain about you?</h2>
<p>“Why does she stay married to you? Have you asked her?” I say.</p>
<p>Jack takes a deep breath. He shakes his head.</p>
<p>“It’s a bit embarrassing to say,” he says.</p>
<p>“Trust me, I’ve heard just about everything,” I reply.</p>
<p>“Because…” he says. “… of the kids.”</p>
<p>“And you take that personally?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do. I’m just a shelf item in her world. A slot holder for her to keep our family together.”</p>
<h2>Do you feel like a pawn in your partner’s world?</h2>
<p>“Jack,” I say. “I want to tell you something. It’s something most of us miss when we are feeling victimized. You have a choice.”</p>
<p>“Say more,” he says.</p>
<p>“You can either be in ‘poor me’ land or you can start to see your wife’s complaints about the dishes and time with your kids as feedback.”</p>
<p>“Ok,” Jack says.</p>
<p>I have his full attention.</p>
<p>I tell Jack how in her complaints, his wife has given him the operating manual on how to be in a happy marriage with her.</p>
<h2>Do you want the operating manual on your partner for a fulfilling marriage?</h2>
<p>If so, discover how to transform her complaints into your marching orders for a happy marriage, in the video below.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_45332"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uXY92b-j0oE?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>“Jack,” I say. “This doesn’t just mean roll over and do whatever she asks of you. That would be inauthentic.”</p>
<p>He nods.</p>
<p>“What it means instead is to get clear on what she wants. Get curious, get more information from your wife, and ask questions.</p>
<p>“Can you tell me why dishes in the sink bother you so much?</p>
<p>“How much time would you like to see me spending with the kids each week?</p>
<p>“Have a strong spine and don’t just fold at her complaints.</p>
<p>“She’s counting on you to be strong in the face of her complaints. And yes, even if it’s been going on for 10 years.</p>
<p>“This is your chance, Jack. To step up and change things for the better.”</p>
<p>Over the course of several conversations with me for the next 2 months, Jack steps up.</p>
<p>He develops a strong spine with his wife’s complaints and tunes into her feedback. And what do you know, her complaints diminish.</p>
<h2>Do you want to diminish your wife’s complaints?</h2>
<p>Change happened for Jack because he stayed in action. He didn’t just say, I understand, and that’s enough.</p>
<p>Instead, he showed up and kept showing up. To confront his old unconscious destructive “poor me” behavioral patterns.</p>
<p>He noticed when he was going down the self-pity hole and instead, called forth a stronger and more capable version of himself.</p>
<p>I always say to a client, it’s not just on me to create the change you seek in your relationship. It’s a 200% arrangement. My 100% and yours. That’s how change happens.</p>
<h2>Are you ready to show up fully to transform your wife’s complaints into a happy and fulfilling marriage?</h2>
<p>If so, let’s have a <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">quick chat</a></strong>.</p>
<p>A quick chat is a guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to create the marriage you want.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest conversation, keeping it real.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>And for the men who aren’t ready for 1:1 coaching and still want to transform their marriage, check out the <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Men’s Relationship Tools</a></strong>. Reply “MRS Yes” to try it out and join your first call for free.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-deal-with-her-complaints/">How To Deal With Her Complaints</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>A 10 Second Tip To Transform Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/a-10-second-tip-to-transform-your-marriage/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Mar 2025 16:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Avoid divorce Save my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship advice for men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3463</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Philip, a high-earning financial consultant, taps his fingers on the small table next to him. I wonder how long he’ll last in this session. His wife Tamara complains about how he is checked out. How he can’t even be with his family for 10 minutes without being on his phone. Mincing no words, she says, “I feel like I’m in [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/a-10-second-tip-to-transform-your-marriage/">A 10 Second Tip To Transform Your Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Philip, a high-earning financial consultant, taps his fingers on the small table next to him. I wonder how long he’ll last in this session.</p>
<p>His wife Tamara complains about how he is checked out. How he can’t even be with his family for 10 minutes without being on his phone.</p>
<p>Mincing no words, she says, “I feel like I’m in a relationship with a zombie.”</p>
<p>“Say more,” I say.</p>
<p>“You know, he’s checked out. Not really in the room.”</p>
<p>“Well, most of the time,” he interrupts. “I’m actually working to support your lifestyle.”</p>
<p>“Just a second, Philip. It’s not your turn.” I turn back to Tamara. “What are you wanting from him?”</p>
<p>“I want to grab him by the neck and say be with your family, put away your damn phone.”</p>
<p>No wonder he wants to do exactly what you don’t want him to do, I think.</p>
<p>“Well, Tamara, I’d say your behavior modification program is not working well.”</p>
<p>Tamara looks over at her husband with scorn. He returns the look.</p>
<p>“Philip, your turn. Do you hear what Tamara is asking of you?”</p>
<p>He looks off into space. I don’t even know if he’s heard me.</p>
<p>“Philip, are you here? You look like you’re somewhere else.”</p>
<p>“Damn right I’m somewhere else,” he says. “I always have to put up with this crap. God forbid she could be appreciative of all I do. And so what if I want to check out now and then.”</p>
<p>“It sounds like it’s more than now and then.” I pause.</p>
<p>“Philip, the only question that matters right now is this. And you better answer it or as far as I can tell, your marriage is over.”</p>
<p>I’ve caught his attention.</p>
<p>“Do you want be alone or do you want to be married?”</p>
<p>He laughs. “Can I have a little bit of both?”</p>
<p>I pause and allow the dead silence to percolate in the room. I look Philip in the eye.</p>
<p>“Philip, you spend 98% of your time alone. Alone in your head.”</p>
<p>“And your point?” he says.</p>
<p>“My point is your wife is very lonely. She’s dying for her husband.”</p>
<p>He scoffs.</p>
<p>“Are you interested in being married to her?</p>
<p>He pauses. He looks at Tamara with concern. All eyes are on him. He knows this is a make or break moment.</p>
<p>“Well, we’re waiting,” Tamara says.</p>
<p>“Not your turn, Tamara. Give him space,” I say.</p>
<p>Philip is caught in between two realities. One in which his wife is a raging bitch and the other in which he is desperately alone.</p>
<p>To cope, he does something many men do. He withdraws, retreats, and turns away from his wife and yes, even his sons.</p>
<p>It’s his simple way of staying safe from a woman, who he experiences as overbearing, when in truth her request is simple &#8211; to have a present husband.</p>
<p>But Philip’s is a false safety that actually makes him less safe, more alone, and more distant from his wife.</p>
<p>In the next moment, I see an opening. I teach him to use a simple 10 second tip to catch himself when he falls into these old patterns which, if continued, will destroy his marriage.</p>
<p>In the video below, check out what I taught him, which transformed his marriage; and if diligently practiced, will transform your marriage as well.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_79600"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lkjHr-2h2lE?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>“So, how hard was that?” I say. “To ask yourself a simple question, in order to save your marriage.”</p>
<p>The question was &#8211; How can I turn towards her?</p>
<p>Simple but big, in that it required Philip to break decades of unconscious patterning, of abandoning his wife and instead turn towards her and engage with her.</p>
<p>“Hard. It requires me trusting that she’ll receive me.”</p>
<p>“And taking the risk that she won’t,” I say. “And knowing you’ll still be ok.”</p>
<p>He nods, humbled by his new power.</p>
<p>“Bravo, Philip. Good work. That’s called being relational and it’s good for you. It’s good for your wife and it’s good for your kids.”</p>
<p>“Well, there’s hope after all,” Tamara says.</p>
<p>“Great,” I say to her. “Now, when he does that, let him know he did something valuable for you. And when he doesn’t, don’t nag. Instead, help him. Help him help you get what you want. Say to him &#8211; Sweetie, can you please turn towards me?”</p>
<p>“I can do that,” she says.</p>
<p>She looks at Philip, reaches for his hand, and he receives it in his.</p>
<h2>Are you wanting to transform your marriage or do the same old dance that has you where you are today?</h2>
<p>For those men who are wanting to transform their marriage, let’s have a quick chat.</p>
<p>A quick chat is a guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to really understand what’s keeping you stuck from creating the marriage you seek.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest conversation between two individuals keeping it real to explore how you can move ahead in your relationship.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>And for the men who prefer a group setting with guys in similar struggles transforming their marriages, check out the <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Men’s Relationship Tools</a></strong> where I am helping men step into action to enhance sex, passion, trust, and confidence in their relationship. Reply “MRS Yes” to join your first call for free.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/a-10-second-tip-to-transform-your-marriage/">A 10 Second Tip To Transform Your Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>How To Stay Married To An Irrational Wife</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-stay-married-to-an-irrational-wife/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Feb 2025 17:00:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mens work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Make her happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men's work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3612</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>For many married men, an unconscious thing happens over the years. It happened to me in my marriage. You work hard in your career. You try to be good to your kids. But over time, you and your wife drift apart. And in time, you lose her. You essentially become roommates. Do you feel like roommates with your wife? No [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-stay-married-to-an-irrational-wife/">How To Stay Married To An Irrational Wife</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For many married men, an unconscious thing happens over the years. It happened to me in my marriage.</p>
<p>You work hard in your career. You try to be good to your kids.</p>
<p>But over time, you and your wife drift apart. And in time, you lose her. You essentially become roommates.</p>
<h2><b>Do you feel like roommates with your wife?</b></h2>
<p>No man means for this to happen. But like a garden untended to, connection with your wife withers over the years.</p>
<p>With the demands of parenting, work, and daily functioning, a man’s marriage easily falls through the cracks.</p>
<p>And often he knows it’s happening, but he keeps his head up and hopes for the best. Maybe he goes to therapy or couples counseling but often with little success.</p>
<h2><b>Have you fixed your marriage through counseling?</b></h2>
<p>And then, a pattern of getting through the days emerges. Coping mechanisms develop.</p>
<p>Be it pot, porn, alcohol, workaholism, or self-imposed mental scripts that say… “Suck it up, man. She’s busy. Don’t be such a wimp.”</p>
<p>Like many married men I’ve worked with over the last 15 years, maybe you feel like your wife’s last priority, behind the kids, her job, and the house.</p>
<p>You go from being a king to a peripheral prince. Your wife attaches to the kids and no longer needs you the way she once did.</p>
<p>But unlike her, you want more &#8211; more connection, more sex, more intimacy.</p>
<p>And if you really go there, it breaks your heart. It’s almost intolerable.</p>
<p class="p1">Marriage was supposed to be happily ever after. Or so you thought way back then. But it rarely turns out that way.</p>
<h2><b>Do you feel like you’ve lost your wife?</b></h2>
<p>In the space of losing your wife, she starts getting emotional and even inconsistent. It seems as if she’s under a spell of emotions at times.</p>
<p>You want to know what you did wrong, what you could do better. You’re a good guy. You want to make things right for her.</p>
<p>But she says…</p>
<p>“You should just know.”</p>
<p>“I’ve told you a thousand times.”</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have to tell you time and again.”</p>
<p>And you hear the words. But nothing makes sense. You’re at a loss for what to do.</p>
<h2><b>Does your wife seem cold or irrational?</b></h2>
<p>If so, this unconscious thing happens. You start to turn away from her. It isn&#8217;t on purpose, but you try to find a way through.</p>
<p>You seek other ways to be happy &#8211; be it more golf, more time with the kids, more work. Any way to experience a sense of value.</p>
<p>There is little value with her. And it’s like being stranded on a deserted island. Your emotions start to turn on you &#8211; resentment, anger, bitterness, or just apathy.</p>
<h2><b>Do you feel undervalued by your wife?</b></h2>
<p>Often a man assumes that his wife’s irrationality or lack of consistency is because of him.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what’s happened. Why he’s lost his wife. How his marriage has gotten to such a tough place.</p>
<h2><b>How do you make sense of it all?</b></h2>
<p>In the video below, discover how to get your head back into the game of your marriage with an irrational or distant wife.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_55820"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y8gICSmfdCA?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p class="p1">The days are long and the years are short, it’s often said.</p>
<p>Don’t be the guy who wakes up one day, and says, how did I get here?</p>
<p>Or even worse, how do I get out of here?</p>
<h2><b>Can you afford to wait years to create the marriage you want?</b></h2>
<p>If not, up your marital game today. <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/"><span class="s1"><b><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">Let’s have a quick chat</span></b></span></a>. A guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to create the marriage you want.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest, real conversation between two guys. No sales pitch. To get started, <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/"><span class="s1"><b><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">shoot me a quick email</span></b></span></a></p>
<p>Lastly for the men who aren’t ready to talk 1:1 and still want to transform their marriage, try out the <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><b><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">Men’s Relationship Tools</span></b></span></a> for free. It’s also a great way to see what I can offer you.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/how-to-stay-married-to-an-irrational-wife/">How To Stay Married To An Irrational Wife</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>What Your Sexless Marriage Can Teach You</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-your-sexless-marriage-can-teach-you/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Jan 2025 17:00:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[what she needs]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Confident man]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The way of the superior man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unhappy marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3568</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Sex. I talk a lot about it. In fact, it’s the biggest complaint men have about their marriages, that there’s not enough of it. Of course, this is because men are superficial and only care about the physical. And if you believe that, then you know nothing about most men and you’re being superficial. Time and again, I hear guys [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-your-sexless-marriage-can-teach-you/">What Your Sexless Marriage Can Teach You</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sex. I talk a lot about it. In fact, it’s the biggest complaint men have about their marriages, that there’s not enough of it.</p>
<p>Of course, this is because men are superficial and only care about the physical.</p>
<p>And if you believe that, then you know nothing about most men and you’re being superficial.</p>
<p>Time and again, I hear guys saying…</p>
<p>“She’s shut down.”</p>
<p>“I feel hopeless.”</p>
<p>“The challenges continue.”</p>
<h2>Do you struggle with sex in your marriage?</h2>
<p>Sex is such a big deal to guys not for the reason we typically think of. It’s not because he’s only interested in the physical.</p>
<p>A lack of sex in a relationship is about connection. It’s the most obvious sign that his wife is shut down to him.</p>
<p>It’s not just that he wants to get off or have a release.</p>
<p>The bigger issue is he doesn’t feel loved, accepted, and connected.</p>
<h2>Do you feel unloved by your wife or partner?</h2>
<p>It’s often been said that in relationship, a woman seeks to be adored and cherished. And a man wants to be respected and admired.</p>
<p>Through sexual intimacy, more than any other way, he feels those things.</p>
<p>And so if sex is lacking, he feels vacant and relationally impoverished.</p>
<h2>Do you feel respected and admired in your relationship?</h2>
<p>If you don’t, it’s easy for a man to feel rejected, angry, or depressed.</p>
<p>If that’s you, I feel you, brother. And I know it’s tough. I experienced those feelings for years in a sexually challenged marriage.</p>
<p>But my situation didn’t change until I got clear that being in victim mode was not serving me. While it felt good and I could be righteous about it, that didn’t get me to the sexually fulfilling relationship I ultimately wanted.</p>
<p>A relationship where I felt my partner’s love and admiration.</p>
<p>Instead of being at the mercy of your situation, use your energy to change it.</p>
<p>In the video below, discover three common reactions men have with sex challenges and how they can use their situation to create the sexually fulfilling marriage they seek.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_32188"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/COdoNMye8Hk?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>In 15 years of coaching married men with sexless marriages, I’ve seen two types of men.</p>
<p>One is the man who stays stuck in inaction and the other is the guy who steps up his game to take action.</p>
<p>The second guy knows that to get a different outcome, he needs different input, different thoughts and beliefs about himself and his situation to create the marriage he seeks.</p>
<p>He puts himself in a position to create the marriage he wants, knows it’ll take some work and he’s willing to do the work.</p>
<p>He’s not just trying to make a bad thing go away but he’s committed to learning how that bad thing can be used towards creating something better, more powerful and more fulfilling for the benefit of himself, his kids, and yes, his wife.</p>
<h2>Are you ready to use your sexless marriage to create the marriage you ultimately seek?</h2>
<p>If so, <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">let’s have a quick chat</a>. A chat is a guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to create the marriage you want.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest, real conversation.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a>.</p>
<p>Lastly for the men who aren’t ready to talk 1:1 and still want to transform their marriage, check out the <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/">Men’s Relationship Tools</a>.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-your-sexless-marriage-can-teach-you/">What Your Sexless Marriage Can Teach You</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>What To Do When You Feel Trapped In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-trapped-in-your-marriage/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jan 2025 17:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mens work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice for men]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Being a man in relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inner freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Male confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[save or leave my marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unhappy marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3581</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Freedom. It’s one of the greatest values we men cherish and hold. Be it the freedom to do what we want. Believe what we want. Or just live our lives as we please. And yet often at a young age, in our 20s or 30s, we do something that goes counter to maintaining our freedom. We get married. Yes, you [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-trapped-in-your-marriage/">What To Do When You Feel Trapped In Your Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Freedom. It’s one of the greatest values we men cherish and hold.</p>
<p>Be it the freedom to do what we want. Believe what we want. Or just live our lives as we please.</p>
<p>And yet often at a young age, in our 20s or 30s, we do something that goes counter to maintaining our freedom.</p>
<p>We get married. Yes, you heard that right.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">We bind ourselves to one person for sex, love, connection, and intimacy for the rest of our lives (or at least that’s our intention).</span></strong></p>
<p>It’s not until years later that we get slammed by that lack of freedom.</p>
<h2>Do you have any of these voices in your head?</h2>
<p>“She tells me what to do.”</p>
<p>“She gets on me for not taking out the trash.”</p>
<p>“I get beat up for not saying the right thing.”</p>
<p>And on and on.</p>
<p>In a worst-case scenario, you may feel trapped in your marriage.</p>
<h2>Do you feel trapped in your marriage?</h2>
<p>You wake up every day to the same person, come home and eat with the same person, spend weekends together, take vacations together.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">How easy it is for it all to get mundane and flat. In the space, it’s easy to feel confined, like you’ve lost your freedom.</span></strong></p>
<p>You may even be asking yourself…</p>
<h2>Is it worth staying married feeling so trapped?</h2>
<p>Whether you take the “death do us part” bit seriously or not, maybe you’re just focused on getting through the next few months or years of your marriage, or until the kids get into college.</p>
<p>You could be just trying to build a good track record with your wife, to create some optimism or a sense of “hey, this is all right, we’ll be OK, even good together.”</p>
<p>And still, there’s the reality of being so in each other’s business day in and day out. And at times, you turn against one another. You fight.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">It can feel overbearing, too much, and confining. This experience of coupledom has a name. It’s called enmeshment.</span></strong></p>
<p>And it feels like you don’t know where she begins and where you end.</p>
<h2>Do you feel enmeshed with your wife?</h2>
<p><strong><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">Enmeshment is a vitality killer in your marriage.</span></strong></p>
<p>We enmesh as a way of creating safety in marriage. But it’s not healthy and feels like crap.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #0cbdd8;">Too much safety diminishes passion and aliveness. It creates deadness and a feeling of entrapment in your marriage.</span></strong></p>
<h2>Do you feel the vitality in your marriage has flatlined?</h2>
<p>If so, check out the video below for a powerful and easy tip to implement to go from feeling trapped in your marriage to feeling free again.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_62634"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3rjRd1NjoEc?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>Feeling trapped in your marriage is no way to live, day in and out.</p>
<p>What you need to know is that the trap isn’t so much about your marriage but how you’ve been incapacitated to do anything about it.</p>
<h2>Are you ready to feel free again in your marriage?</h2>
<p>If so, <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">let’s have a quick chat</a></strong>. A guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to create the marriage you want.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest, real conversation.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>And for the many women reading this, wanting to learn more about men, here is a special link for you women.</p>
<p>Lastly for the men who aren’t ready to talk 1:1 and still want to transform their marriage, check out the <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/">Men’s Relationship Tools</a></strong>.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-trapped-in-your-marriage/">What To Do When You Feel Trapped In Your Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>3 Reasons Your Wife Won&#8217;t Let You Lead</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-reasons-your-wife-wont-let-you-lead/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Jan 2025 14:42:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=4888</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Every married guy has been here. What about you? Your wife asks you your opinion on something &#8211; the curtains, the placemats, or a school thing with your kid. So you give your opinion. I like the blue curtains. The red placemats look great. Sure, let’s get a tutor for Billy. And then she does what she wants, as if [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-reasons-your-wife-wont-let-you-lead/">3 Reasons Your Wife Won&#8217;t Let You Lead</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Every married guy has been here. What about you?</p>
<p>Your wife asks you your opinion on something &#8211; the curtains, the placemats, or a school thing with your kid.</p>
<p>So you give your opinion. I like the blue curtains. The red placemats look great. Sure, let’s get a tutor for Billy.</p>
<p>And then she does what she wants, as if you never said a thing. You ask yourself…</p>
<h3>Why did she even bother to ask my opinion?</h3>
<p>And it happens again. Rinse and repeat.</p>
<p>Over time, you stop sharing your thoughts. Your opinions.</p>
<p>And then eventually, a distance builds between you and her. As if you live in separate worlds.</p>
<p>Maybe on a rare day, she still asks your opinion but you just withdraw and don’t give it.</p>
<p>Or a part of you says actually it’s better that she doesn’t ask my opinion because she didn’t listen to me anyway.</p>
<p>Without knowing it, at least consciously, (but you feel it) you’re stuck where you are with her. A status quo.</p>
<p>You have a story. She doesn’t consider me. She does her own thing. She does not care about me.</p>
<h3>Do you feel disregarded by your wife?</h3>
<p>If so, chances are you don’t ask yourself this next question.</p>
<h3>How can I lead in my relationship?</h3>
<p>Most guys say, hell, I’d just like to be able to have an opinion that she listens to.</p>
<p>But you gave that up a while ago.</p>
<p>So you don’t try to lead but you let her lead &#8211; at least in the domain of ordinary things &#8211; house, kids, etc.</p>
<p>And yet chances are you lead in other areas, like money, but it doesn’t feel like leadership. It just feels like you do your thing and she follows.</p>
<p>You try to explain the savings, planning, investments to her, but she doesn’t really pay attention. She says, “That’s your thing, not mine.”</p>
<p>So it’s as if you’re alone again. And that’s the problem. Feeling alone in your marriage. Now where you’re not alone is when you become relational.</p>
<p>When you look at yourself, the relationship you want, and step in to create it.</p>
<p>That’s a level of leadership few men ever act on or even know they can. At least in a way that invites her to participate.</p>
<h3>So why don’t you lead in the relationship? And why won’t she let you?</h3>
<p>In this video discover three reasons why she shuts down your leadership and what to do about it.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_18284"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lOi3jhxajyo?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<p>For those short on time, here’s a headline on the video. For the robust version, watch the video.</p>
<p>Part of the reason she shuts down your leadership is she’s been conditioned to. She has such a need for voice &#8211; and this comes from her wound of not having one as a little girl &#8211; that she can’t even consider your voice.</p>
<p>Another piece is that you’ve suppressed your voice, so when it comes out, it typically comes out sideways with resentments.</p>
<p>Sort yourself out, brother. Learn to lead in your relationship. The work starts with you.</p>
<p>Yes if one person changes, the other is forced to change. Or not. And that’s great info for you as well.</p>
<p>Learn to lead in your relationship. Take the first step.</p>
<p><strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">Shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>Stay Strong &amp; Be Relational,<br />
Stu</p>
<p>P.S. Join a group of men tackling their relationship challenges head-on every Tuesday at 12pm ET on the <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/">Men’s Relationship Tools</a></strong> calls.</p>
<p>First call is free. Reply to get a zoom link.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-reasons-your-wife-wont-let-you-lead/">3 Reasons Your Wife Won&#8217;t Let You Lead</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>3 Steps To Fix Your Sexless Marriage</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-steps-to-fix-your-sexless-marriage/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Dec 2024 17:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3458</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I hear from a lot of men who say they want more sex in their marriage. They say, “I love my wife. She’s great but I don’t know if I can stay married to her.” And then they explain further… “We haven’t had sex in months. “She’s not even interested. “She’s frigid.” Do you struggle with sex in your relationship? [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-steps-to-fix-your-sexless-marriage/">3 Steps To Fix Your Sexless Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I hear from a lot of men who say they want more sex in their marriage.</p>
<p>They say, “I love my wife. She’s great but I don’t know if I can stay married to her.”</p>
<p>And then they explain further…</p>
<p>“We haven’t had sex in months.</p>
<p>“She’s not even interested.</p>
<p>“She’s frigid.”</p>
<h2>Do you struggle with sex in your relationship?</h2>
<p>Sex is a big deal for us dudes.</p>
<p>It’s often been said that we men need to have sex to feel emotionally connected.</p>
<p>And on the flip side, she needs to be emotionally connected to have sex.</p>
<p>It can feel like such a disconnect. God’s cruel joke.</p>
<h2>What comes first &#8211; sex or emotional connection?</h2>
<p>Many guys don’t even know that his wife needs to be emotionally connected to have sex.</p>
<p>They think she just needs to open her legs and accept him.</p>
<p>They say, “I do everything to fulfill what she needs of me. She doesn’t reciprocate.”</p>
<p>I understand this well because I was in a 20-year marriage where sex was often lacking.</p>
<p>I tried to behave myself. You know, score points. Try to be loving. And then maybe she’d be open up to sex.</p>
<p>But most of the time, she’d reject me. It was as if she saw this sudden wave of exemplary behavior and didn’t quite trust it. And with good reason.</p>
<h2>Do you try to score points with your wife to get sex?</h2>
<p>Eventually, I’d wonder, What’s the point?</p>
<p>Why even bother to try to build an emotional connection if I can’t get laid once in a while by my own damn wife?</p>
<p>So I’d feel the sting of rejection. To cope, I’d suck it up and try to stay the course for my son and the family.</p>
<h2>But do we really have to castrate ourselves to stay married?</h2>
<p>There’s got to be a better way. But yet it’s so easy just to throw in the towel, give up, look at other women, or accept the status quo.</p>
<p>There’s a name for that course of action. It’s called “playing small.”</p>
<p>It feels like crap because it is small &#8211; small-minded, small-hearted, and small sexually.</p>
<h2>What if you had a better way to revive your sexless marriage?</h2>
<p>Before we get there, let’s acknowledge something big.</p>
<p>In a long-term relationship or marriage, we have this other dynamic going on. I’ll speak to it in a second.</p>
<p>Often, we don’t know about this dynamic, because the only reference we have for abundant sex is in the good old days, during the honeymoon chemical-flooding phase of doing it in the bathroom, the car, the kitchen, a park bench, anywhere we could get our sex organs out.</p>
<p>What we had then that was lost many years into marriage was simply this… Eros.</p>
<p>Eros is mystery, the unknown, erotic curiosity, arousal, and passion.</p>
<p>It’s something that gets squashed in the day-to-day functioning of married life &#8211; getting the kids to school, going to work, bills paid, etc., etc.</p>
<p>We lost our eros and passion because at some point, whether we knew it or not, we prioritized security, stability, and commitment over risk, vulnerability, and deep connection.</p>
<h2>Does fear of risk hold you back from creating a fulfilling sex life?</h2>
<p>In this video below, I talk about 3 steps to creating a sexually fulfilling marriage, and 3 mental errors we guys make in the process.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_24547"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JvzOlj0efaE?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<h2>Do you want to up level your sex life?</h2>
<p>There’s an old joke. To kill off your sex life, get married.</p>
<p>But let’s face it, you didn’t get married to kill off your sex life.</p>
<p>You got married to build a home &#8211; psychological, emotional, physical, sexual in one another, and a literal home for your kids.</p>
<p>Fixing a sexless marriage takes some work. And yes, there could be some struggle in achieving it.</p>
<p>Hard conversations, not taking everything personally, and a willingness to get curious about your partner’s blocks.</p>
<h2>Are you willing to be in the struggle of rebuilding your sex life?</h2>
<p>At the end of the day, you get to decide what you want to struggle for, and what problems you choose.</p>
<p>When asked if they’re willing to put in the work to rebuild their sex life, most guys say, “Well it depends.”</p>
<p>I hate to break it to you. But nothing groundbreaking happens in the land of “it depends.”</p>
<p>If that’s you, it’s a sign that you’re not super serious about turning around your sex life.</p>
<p>For those guys who are serious, ready to be in the struggle, and ready to do something life-changing, let’s have a quick chat.</p>
<p>You are the kind of man I work with. You are the man I help up level his sex life.</p>
<p>A quick chat is a guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to really understand what’s keeping you stuck from having a great sex life.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest conversation between two guys keeping it real to explore how you can move ahead in your relationship.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>And if you’re more of a group guy, consider checking out the <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/mensrelationshiptools/"><strong>Men’s Relationship Tools </strong></a>where I am helping men step into action to enhance sex, passion, trust, and confidence in their relationship.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-steps-to-fix-your-sexless-marriage/">3 Steps To Fix Your Sexless Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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		<title>3 Ways You Lose Your Wife &#038; How To Get Her Back</title>
		<link>https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-ways-you-lose-your-wife-how-to-get-her-back/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stuart Motola]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Nov 2024 17:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[confident man]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.stuartmotola.com/?p=3441</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>“She has no idea how hard I work.” Robert, a seven-figure tech entrepreneur, shakes his head. “Does she think I slave away all day just for me? “I want all the wonderful things that she wants. In fact, I love providing for her. But damn if…” He pauses, thinks. “Ok, fine, she’s made it clear, I need to show up [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-ways-you-lose-your-wife-how-to-get-her-back/">3 Ways You Lose Your Wife &#038; How To Get Her Back</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“She has no idea how hard I work.” Robert, a seven-figure tech entrepreneur, shakes his head. “Does she think I slave away all day just for me?</p>
<p>“I want all the wonderful things that she wants. In fact, I love providing for her. But damn if…”</p>
<p>He pauses, thinks.</p>
<p>“Ok, fine, she’s made it clear, I need to show up better. I need to provide emotionally for her as well as physically.”</p>
<p>Robert looks away.</p>
<p>“But I don’t understand a few things.</p>
<p>“Recently, I tried to do what she asked of me, to help her out around the house, to be more present for her.</p>
<p>“I even fixed the back door that hasn’t been shutting correctly. Granted, it took me a month.</p>
<p>“Still, I’m putting a lot of skin in the game these days. But man, she’s still like an ice queen.”</p>
<h2>Do you experience your wife as cold and distant?</h2>
<p>Maybe you even feel like you’re trying to show up more, be more caring, communicate better.</p>
<p>And yet still she’s distant and disinterested in you. With increased efforts, it’s easy to get resentful &#8211; <em>she doesn’t see I’m trying.</em></p>
<p>As a result, you might blow up every once in a while, like Robert, wanting to take a hatchet to the ice.</p>
<h2>Do you get frustrated when your partner doesn’t see your efforts to show up better?</h2>
<p>“Somewhere, somehow, I lost her, I know I was working too much, and yet even with all that I’m trying to do better, it’s like I can’t get her back.”</p>
<p>Unknowingly, Robert is stepping on a land mine. It’s the same one I see a lot of men step on.</p>
<p>He approaches his relationship like it’s a door repair job.</p>
<p>And I don’t blame him. It’s what he knows, what pays off at work and in other areas of his life &#8211; fix problems and get rewarded for solutions.</p>
<p>But it is one of three ways that guys like Robert lose their wives.</p>
<p>What Robert has missed is that marriages require something else. Something less goal-oriented, less contrived, and less manipulative.</p>
<p>In the video below I speak to the two other ways I commonly see guys lose their wives.</p>
<h2>What will it take to win your wife back?</h2>
<p>Check out the video to discover simple steps to get her back.</p>
<p><iframe  id="_ytid_21763"  width="480" height="270"  data-origwidth="480" data-origheight="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FhJ3Gk5oWhA?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=0&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;" class="__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload" title="YouTube player"  allow="fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy="1" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=""></iframe></p>
<h2>Is your marriage really worth saving? Or do you just fear being alone?</h2>
<p>I ask because your wife will know the difference. You know how women are. They often see things that we can’t. It’s like this voodoo skill of theirs.</p>
<p>You can’t just fake it or go through a pre-written script. It’s got to be real, from the heart.</p>
<p>For Robert, that took a few months. Like a lot of guys, he was head. He didn’t even know what was in his heart.</p>
<p>Working together, we changed that. And that was a game-changer for his wife, who was hungry for her husband’s heart.</p>
<p>It was then that she could chill out and warm up, finally.</p>
<h2>Are you seeking to win your wife back?</h2>
<p>If so, take that first step and let’s have a quick chat.</p>
<p>A guaranteed, powerful conversation to give you meaningful insights on how to reconnect with your wife and build a better marriage.</p>
<p>And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest conversation between two guys keeping it real to explore how you can move ahead in your relationship.</p>
<p>I’d be honored to hear from you. Move into action and <strong><a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/email-me/">shoot me a quick email</a></strong>.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com/3-ways-you-lose-your-wife-how-to-get-her-back/">3 Ways You Lose Your Wife &#038; How To Get Her Back</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.stuartmotola.com">Stuart Motola</a>.</p>
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